I almost stopped writing this post because I couldn’t think of an opening sentence. In one of my last Instagram posts I spoke about what I refer to as the "dark place." It usually looks like a cycle of negative thinking, feeling sad or low, being discouraged. Just feeling bad overall. I’ve spent hours overthinking myself into inaction. I’ve lost relationships over fear of confrontation or being embarrassed in a conversation.
I used to beat myself up over these quirks in my personality. It used to, well still does, make me question my worth and abilities. But I had to be honest with myself and realize this is not just me being lazy or vain, but it is actually anxiety and depression manifesting itself in my life. While I have no letters behind my name and have not gotten an official diagnosis, the writing is on the wall.
do plan to seek professional help, and of course I will share that with you all along the way, but for now I just want to share a few ways that I pull myself out of what I refer to as the dark place. I create my own sunshine and with persistence I am usually able to turn things around for myself.
For me it manifests through my mood, I'm usually a really happy upbeat person and strangers will almost always meet that version of me. But the people closest to me, they see the shift. They feel the shortness, the anger, the frustration. They see me try to smile and laugh my way through it but they see what's really going on. And so do I.
So here are a few ways that I've learned to create my own sunshine and pull myself out of the dark place...
This is so simple, yet so powerful! I'll take it a step further and say dress with intention. Wear something you feel confident and fierce in, put on a bold, red lipstick, fix your hair up and go! Sometimes just putting the care and effort into getting ready for the day can provide that boost you need to feel the sunshine!
Dance it out!
Grey's Anatomy is one of my favorite shows and everyone knows that this was Meredith and Christina's go to! When sh*t gets rough, or you're overwhelmed, turn on some music (IRL or in your head!) and dance your heart out!
This is super cliche, and may seem annoying at first, but it really does work. Sometimes you have to create your sunshine by first taking off your shades so you can see clearly! There are reasons for happiness all around us and focusing on gratitude is a perfect way to tap into them!
Bonus Tip: Get out of your own head!
I know it may sound too simple, but sometimes when we allow ourselves to sit and wallow in negative thinking, we remain stagnant in that space of darkness. It’s easy to feel hopeless. So get out of your own head by writing, talking to an encouraging friend, snuggle your baby. Anything to get out of your own negative head space. Walking in your purpose means walking down dark paths some days. Don’t stop walking, keep pushing until you find your sunshine.